Humour: (n) really funny, irony, clever wit - yes, you asked for it and here
it is.
A Red Sox
game - circa 2002 (before esruc)
So, instead of watching some rugby, a small group of Brits
stayed up last night to watch the Boston Red Sox play NY Yankees - it was a
shame that they lost, had we known, we would have watched something else on
telly.
We were trying to remember this whole "Babe Ruth" thing but we are not sure who
cursed who and why, and whether other people effect curses when they move from
Boston to NY - and do they get undone when they move back?
Anyway, for you philistine Brits out there - the Red Sox have not won the US Cup
(World Series) for a long time - (I have a bumper sticker to prove it - it says
"world champs 1918"). You may ask why they call it the World Series when it is a
battle between the 'American' world and the 'National' world and it is only open
to US teams - it would be like the soccer world cup being only open to Italy,
Germany, Brazil and England. Hey, if we let the US play soccer, they should let
us play rounders! And why aren't there any women on your teams - oh yes, they
play 'softball'. Maybe the Red Sox would have better luck if they played with a
bigger ball!
So, back to the game, there was not much action but lots of people trying to
kill each other with nasty looks, and lots of ear, nose, knee and glove touching
(apparently it is like semaphore to communicate between dugouts about
coordinated spitting). Boston was ahead with a few innings of fierce staring and
the Yankee's pitcher had to blink so many times, he left the game for good - a
real sulk and he didn't even wave to the crowd?. But then, with a super bit of
skipping and clapping around the bases, NY earned the 3 points and after full
time the game was a tie. "Could it get any more exciting?" the commentator asked
- well, I was hoping for a close up of the burst water main in Washington
Heights but then again... - and the commercials were too short....
Into extra time and they do this sudden death thing, tie breaker, first goal
wins (but you have to give the home team another go). Anyway, finally, one of
the players hit the ball and the game was over. It must be difficult to hit
those balls with such tight pants on, it is not surprising they have to give
them a few goes to hit it. And those helmets are so dirty, you would thing the
brand people would have a fit. They do wash those lucky uniforms don't they?
And why don't the Americans like tied games, where they could celebrate the
sport and the game and say - "that was a good game"... maybe then there would be
less parental murders at the ice hockey rink, less 'in the hole' shouting and
spousal abuse of the putting greens at the USPGA open, less 'Most Valued Player'
and more team work. The great american dream - "Win or invade". Just be glad
North Korea don't have better teams.
My favorite quote was that the Red Sox were destined to face the Chicago Cubs -
a perfect match of two teams neither of whom will win the world series (or any
other series) until hell freezes over. A perfect match of hapless wits... maybe
they should organise a friendly and play softball.
God Bless the Red Sox
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http://greenwellies.blogspot.com/
or click here. Some readers may
find the text disturbing, reader discretion is advised
